This is a Man's World...

... just like James Brown said.

In my observations, I have to say, in the long run, when it comes down to a standoff between a man and a woman, the man almost always comes out on top.

Every once in a while I think back to my first (and I guess only) 'big' breakup and heartbreak. It took place in my early twenties, probably the time when it ends up happening to most people I would guess.

She was a buxom, half-asian stripper (hold up, I know what you're thinking, but the truth is she didn't start stripping until after we started dating - when I induced her to do it, but that's another story), who one of my friends described as physically 'flawless.' Once the money and attention from stripping went to her head, predictably, she lost patience with my Kevin Federline act and told me to hit the road.

At the time of course, I thought the world was falling down around me. Really, I was devastated - in fact, it took almost a year to really pull myself back together again. However, looking back at that time, now almost a decade later, I did learn several things.

First, time heals all wounds. Now I know that is never any consolation at the time, when you're suffering, but it's true.

Second, and more importantly however, is that life and the world is tilted in a man's favor. Take a look at most high-profile breakups: Kevin Federline and Britney, Justin Timberlake and whoever, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, etc., and nine times out of ten, what you will see is the woman ends up the loser in the long run, granted that the guy recovers his game and regains his stride.

Yes, in the long run, after you're dumped, you may feel like you're at rock bottom, you may view yourself as a laughing stock, and for that short time you might even be right - I know I was. Hell, look at Kevin Federline, who was considered a bigger joke than him? Now who do you think is laughing? Not Britney, that's for sure.

What guys need to realize, is that if you had enough game to get your 'lost' girl in the first place, then you are good enough to get the equivalent or even better in the future. Remember - success is the best revenge.

As of today, just like the guys in those high profile couples, after recouping and concentrating on my game, I have been with and turned down large numbers of women equal to and better than my ex, in every way. I'm now with a girl who is at least as attractive as my ex, with a personality that's about ten times better. In the last six years or so up until now, I feel like I've lived a love life that the vast majority of men can only fantasize about, and yet I still feel like my value to females increases daily as I get older, more experienced, more financially secure, and more confident.

As for my ex? The 'flawless' one? She's now a single mother, rapidly approaching thirty. How valuable do you think she is on the dating market?

So if you find yourself in a position where you are feeling like you have lost everything because your girl has left you, if you feel like there's nothing left and that you can't go on, I can tell you from my own personal experience - you're wrong. Feel the pain, acknowledge it, and realize that it is only temporary. It will only be a matter of time before you are able to start planning your next big move.


"The best thing for being sad," replied Merlyn, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That is the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then--to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the thing for you."

Merlyn, advising the young King Arthur in T. H. White's The Once and Future King.