As If This 'Summer' Couldn't Have Gotten Any Worse...

I just happened to find out the other day that my favorite Starbucks in the whole city, the Astor Place location where I looked forward to making a summer people-watching day out of all school year, closed this past April. I spent several wonderful lazy days here last summer just watching the stream of people head to and fro on Astor, passing by between me and Cooper Union.

I guess my only consolation is that it closed way back in April, before my spring semester had finished, which left me with a good excuse why I couldn't have come out to bid it farewell. Had it have closed this May or June, I would have felt terrible that I had missed one last day of lazing around in its yard. Regardless, let's hope that something new and similar takes the old Starbucks' place before the end of the summer. In the meantime, I guess I'll have to head over to Union Square.

What a Difference a Year Can Make

A year ago today, I was about halfway through my relatively easygoing public interest summer legal job in downtown Manhattan. I would hop on the train, get off at Broadway-Nassau barely thirty minutes later, stroll past City Hall and the Brooklyn Bridge gleaming in the sun, past J&R Music and the Manhattan Municipal Building with its newlyweds, past the Sugar House prison window, and onto the bench beneath the shady trees and chirping birds to slowly enjoy my coffee in the breezy courtyard between buildings. After work I would get home before six, throw on my regular clothes, and start what was basically a whole new day. It was probably one of the most relaxing summers I've ever had, even if it did only last two months.

Fast forward to the summer of 2009: I wake up dead tired, get ready in a mad rush, stumble out to the garbage F train for a stalled ride to midtown, get off at Rock Center, rush about eight blocks, throw back a coffee in the gray cold morning while standing next a stone pillar on Park Avenue, head up to my office building, and plant my butt in an office chair to research and write for basically 10 hours straight, day in and day out. By the time I get home at around 8:30pm I'm exhausted, and just have enough time and energy left to maybe watch some entertainment and prepare to repeat it all again the next day.

So what is the difference, you ask? Why am I doing this to myself? One word: money. And maybe experience. There is no doubt that this summer's option is better for my wallet. But at what point does it become worth losing one's mind? Regardless, I'm almost halfway done with seven weeks to go. We'll see if it gets any easier.

There is No In-Between.

Something I haven't been quite able to figure out since entering law school and the legal profession in general,

It's been my general experience, since I was a child, that anything I applied myself to I could accomplish. Not just accomplish, but excel at. Even reach the top. There was never anything, back then, that I could not mentally grasp. Granted, I'm talking about small matters here (since I never endeavored to tackle anything world class). Still, though, for purposes of what I'm about to say, it doesn't matter.

Since entering law school and working within the intensely competitive upper echelon of the legal profession, however, I am continuously taken aback at the degree of (albeit academic) intelligence I encounter in so many individuals on a daily basis. Law school and the legal profession are the first places where I can honestly say that, regardless of the concept put forth to us, virtually everyone I am surrounded by will, at a minimum, understand it. Instantly. Some will even master it. All in less time than it takes me to read the matter to begin with.

My point in all of this is simply that I'm curious, or rather, I can't figure out--where is the in-between? The first twenty-nine years of my life I spent coasting past my peers in virtually every activity I participated in, be it professional, academic, or otherwise. Whether it was school, the military, my civilian jobs, etc., there was basically no limit, within reason, to how far I could have traveled within those spheres. Since entering law school, however, it's taken everything I have to not be steamrolled over by my younger and apparently more-naturally-gifted classmates and colleagues. Where were all of these incredibly intelligent individuals for the first twenty-eight years of my life? And where are all the mediocre intellects now that I am in law school? It's as though I've gone from 0 to 100 in just a few seconds, and there doesn't appear to be any possibility of slowing down in the near future. All I can say is, I'm tired, and looking forward to the end either way. $120k/yr starting sounds great, but not if I wind up losing my sanity in the process.