There exists in this world a large number of people (and especially men) who I like to call "dismissers." A more accurate term for them might be "cynics" or "skeptics," but for me, "dismisser" just feels right.
A dismisser is a person who has enough intelligence to inquire a little bit past the surface of things they see and hear, so as not to take anything at face value. Now this can obviously be a good thing--but, where the problem comes in is that, even though dismissers possess enough sense to investigate
a little bit into things that seem questionable, they don't have enough sense in their judgment to investigate
fully or sufficiently. Thus, the answers they come up in their little inquiries with are almost always
wrong.
For example,
a lot of the dismissers I encounter tend to be conservative Republicans and/or conspiracy theorists. Since the modern Republican party loves to appeal to the cynical side of people--e.g., by introducing its own lies with "Don't listen to the
liberals' lies--we all know what's
really going on here"--the Republicans have become very good at putting out information in a way that resonates with people who like to feel like they're being put on to some sort of
'inside knowledge' that only
they're smart enough to take notice of and believe (which is ironic, since conservative Republicans by and large tend to be on the lower end of the IQ scale nationally).
The same goes for the whole conspiracy theory nonsense--i.e., "There's stuff going on behind the scenes here that
only me and the people who think like me are smart enough to catch on to"--meanwhile, anyone who possesses judgment superior to that of a three-year-old can see that the 'conspiracy' that's usually being 'exposed' is absurd--e.g., that the US government 'secretly' orchestrated 9/11.
But I may be being a bit hard on conservatives and conspiracy theorists, because I have met my fair share of liberal dismissers as well, who are dismissers in an area of life where it can really affect their quality of life in a poignant way--in their dealings with
women.
The reason why dismissers so often tend to be losers with women is because, just as political dismissers tend to inquire into something just enough to settle on some arbitrary conclusion, when 'dating dismissers' (as I'll call them) decide to inquire into why they're not able to get the types of women they want, the conclusion they almost always settle on is that there's
something wrong with everyone else. Now, this should start sounding very familiar.
The old 'everyone else is messed up' meme is
extremely loved and cherished by dating dismissers, because it's the perfect way for them to feel like they've 'figured out what's really going on' while at the same time absolving themselves of any responsibility for their failures with women.
I recently made the acquaintance of a classic dating dismisser who actually inspired me to write this entry. This particular guy is constantly lamenting about why he can't meet the type of woman he wants, and even in the rare instance that he does meet one and manage to land a date with her, it never goes anywhere. So, despite this guy's overwhelming desire to land a beautiful girl, it never happens.
When I observed, or listened to this guy describe, his approach/dating techniques, the glaringly wrong moves he was pulling started popping up like computer error notifications, one after the other. For example: he's the sort of guy who:
--Stands around bars with his drink clutched to his chest, nervously trying to start conversations with women while transmitting obvious attraction to them;
--Displays low-confidence, self-defeatist body language;
--In his conversations with women, applies 'male logic and reasoning' to everything they say (i.e., he argues and debates with girls as if he were talking to one of his guy friends);
--Transmits a strong vibe of "Golly gee, I hope you select me" as opposed to "If you're a really lucky girl, I
might select you."
And so on and so on. Best case scenario, the above behaviors can only lead this guy to one outcome--he will wind up not with a girl he
wants, but with
the first girl who chooses him. And since he can't
get what he
wants, he'll instead try to convince himself that he
wants what he has. (Now whether he succeeds in convincing himself of that is an entirely different matter.)
To bring this all back around, now here's where the dismissive behavior comes in, and starts to really take its toll: upon witnessing this guy's painfully sad situation, and figuring him to be a good guy who could use some advice, I tried to give him a little friendly advice. I explained to him that I, at one time, was not able to get the type of women I want, but now I am, thanks to the generous advice of a few friends and authors. I offered some clear fixes for the poor behaviors I witnessed above:
--When in a social setting, hold your drink down low and to the side, instead of clutched to your chest like a shield.
--When approaching women, do it with an air of 'I'm just a fun, social guy who likes to talk to people in general, and so I'm talking to you' as opposed to 'I'm attracted to you,
therefore I'm talking to you.'
--Be conscious of your body language at all times, and take care not to display any that makes you look low-confidence.
--Talk to women like
women as opposed to like men--i.e., when they say something ridiculous,
don't try to point out flaws in their logic or reasoning--rather, just maintain a fun, social tone. If you want to challenge something they say, do it in a fun, irreverent way, as opposed to serious and argumentative.
--And finally, maintain an inner frame of mind at all times that
you are the one who selects the women you allow into your exciting and fulfilling life, and if a given woman happens to be lucky enough, you might just select her.
----This last point is
crucial, since such a large difference between alpha males and all other males is that whereas betas and omegas are left with the alpha's female 'crumbs' or 'leftovers,' who then choose
their partner from amongst the desperate betas and omegas, the alpha is the only male who has the luxury of
choosing his females, since it's a given that most any high value female would jump at the chance to be with the alpha (if even secretly).
When presented with this invaluable advice, passed down to me--a former complete
loser with women who has since become a winner--by some very intelligent and successful men, what do you think the dating dismisser did? You guessed it--he dismissed it. He simply fired back the usual repertoire of omega male dismisser excuses: "Nah, I don't believe in that stuff"--"Best thing to do is just 'be yourself'"--"That sort of stuff only works on slutty club girls"--"A lot of girls fall for assholes"--and so on and so on. Leaving me to shake my head in disbelief, once again, at how stubborn so many men in this world are at remaining dismissers--i.e., losers--whether it be in love or in life in general. But then again, when you're a dismisser, that seems to come along with the territory.
